I have recently purchased x box live, for those of the uneducated few x box live isan online multiplayer gaming service created and operated by Microsoft Corporation. It allows gamers of all skill levels from around the world to play the games they love together, whether as a team up or against one another. The following is a description of what happens when a really talented and experienced x box player from ohio (not me) is teamed up with an inexperienced yet widley enthusiastic newbie to online gaming.
Splinter cell is a game where the player takes on the character of an elite clandestine espionage operative, think jack baur multiplied by jason bourne to the power of james bond, and dressed like a ninja. the players have to work as a team, stealthily executing the villians without alerting his 1 or so heavily armed friends. If bad guys find out you are there they call for back up, increasing their strength in numbers and making the job exponentially more difficult for you.
To ensure our missions were more successful we each wore our headsets, thus we could cooly communicate throughout our missions!
so to recap: 1 game (splinter cell: conviction), 2 players each with a headset (connected to the one game via the x box live feature). The situation: 2 crack splinter cell opperatives have to take down heavily armed criminals in russia over 3 locations.
We had been working as a team for more than 1 hour, we had each got to know the others espionage techniques, strengths and weaknesses; His strengths were to plan and execute the silent elimination of any enemy in the area (like a ninja) . . . . .my strength: to completely fuck up any and all of his plans.
Case one: We are in a museum, there are only 9 guards, he had merc'd two with fast efficient hand to hand combat techniques.
Him: "scratch 2 - x-ray s" his voice calm, he was battle hardened.
I had (through luck) killed one by panicing as hehad come around a corner, I randomly started shooting 'bon chance' would have it that out of the six bullets that had been fired one had fortunately managed to hit him in the head, an instant kill *PAM*.
Me: "I got one, i bloody got one!" i imagine he was reassured hearing the suprise in my voice at accidently killing a target.
Now we were in the museum's main atrium, i had positioned mysef up on a an elevated balcony. He sneaked into a room and positioned himself behind the enemy ready to pounce (like a cobra just before it whips forward and latched onto its unwitting prey) he was a ghost. Sudenly i spotted a device attatched to the wall, it had flashing lights, hmmm whats this?" I thought. It was a gun turrett a remotely armed device that controlled a gun attacthed to the camera. I am gonna be honest, I got distracted by something cool looking (never good form for a highly trained killing machine) and decided it looked fun to use the very loud weapon to kill our enemies in the hall, upon firing i knew i had made a mistake.
Him: slightly panicy "what the fuck??!?!?!?!?!?"
The sound of the turrets had alerted the remaing enemies to our presence and thus they called for 8 reinforcements. In the corner of the turrets camera i could just about make out the fleeing paniced image of my artner as he was spotted and chased by a pack of heavily armed killers.
Case two: We are in a courtyard there are perhaps 7 enemies left scattered around. Its dark, my partner has deftly shot out each of the lights, thus its too dark for the enemy to see us. He has asked me to stay back, whilst he prepares the field/ kills everyone.
Him: " look, i dont want another fuck up like last time, you stay here, i will ill everyone, ok?"
Me: "So you want me to hold back and lay down covering fire"
Him: "Hold back yes , covering fire, definately not"
Me: " So i cant fire my gun?"
Him: "you can fire it all you want after i kill everybody"
I choose a good vantage point, I am on a balcony with a great view of the courtyard. I pull out my unsilenced weapon a sniper rifle. Through my lense i see that he has anaged to kill 3 bad-guys already. I start to get bored, do you know when you see a 7 year old who is left to his own devises so he starts to do stupid thing. In this case imagine the 7 year old is amred with a high velocity weapon. I see him approach an enemy from behind. He is about three metres away, he is gonna do his tried and tested neck break on him. Before he can get to him, i start to shoot. Like a crazed and unskilled teenage killer, firing hap-hazardly i kill the one guy and watch my partner sprint away from some aggressive russian militia. He seks refuge on top of some sort of a gazebo in the centre of te court yard.
Him: "what the fuck was that??"
Me: "He was gonna get you, he knew you were there, you should be thanking me right now!"
Him: "he did fucking not, you fucked it up again, now there are fucking 8 more of the fuckers"
Me: " You have a seriously limited vocabulary"
Him:"Fuck you!!!"
Case three: We are in a some kind of old bath area, we have spent the best part of 15 minutes taking out all but 2 of the enemies. I am actualy doing pretty well, i have killed three(all be it in a controlled manner).
HIM: "Your allowed to kill him sneak up behind him now and press the 'B' button."
Me (walk up behind the enemy and snap his neck with my hands) " ***PAM***, how do you like that, not very much cause your dead, BITCH"!!
Him: "Well done now follow me and dont do anything without asking me"
Me: "Can i throw a grenade?"
Him: "Why?"
Me: "For shits and giggles, let see wat happens? I (DRAMATIC PAUSE) am a MAVERICK!"
Him: "I will tell you what happens, it makes a loud noise, and 8 more enemies come onto the map?"
Me: " was that a NO?"
Him: "your fucking doing this on purpose arent you."
We confidently sneak in and position ourselves each behind one of the guards. Just as he is about to pounce, i throw an ill placed grenade, it kills his target and knocks him over.His character is lying on the floor requesting my help in giving him medical attention! 8 more reinforcements show up on the map.
HIM: your a fucking idiot, i told you, get over here and help me. You fucking retard!!"
Me: "Not if you are gonna talk to me like that, say sorry!"
Him: " i am not saying sorry, you threw a fucking grenade at me, i know you did it on purpose, you have been wanting to throw a grenade at me ALL day!!"
Me: "I have did not". I really did!
Him: "All you have done all day is fuck my shit up, your fucking it up now and I know you are doing it on purpse, a fucking grenade, A FUCKING GRENADE??? we had 2 guys left, TWO FUCKING GUYS!!! All you had to do was wait behind that guy and press 'B'.If the game would let me i would shoot you now, but the fact is i need your medical aid"
Me: "The defibrilator"
Him: "What?"
Me: "The machine that starts your heart again"
Him: "yes"
Me: "I am gonna take that as an apology"
Him: "Its not an apology!"
There was a pattern to our partnership. It was like Jack Baur was required to work with frank spencer, a truly accurate image of what it is like when a baddass is teamed with a complete incompetant!<span> The man took splinter cell very seriously so i imagine being teamed with a clumsey fool was slightly aggravating. </span><span>Saying that though, he did add me as a friend so he did not hate the experience all that much. </span>
below is an example of how video gamers can get . . .
